There has been a theme among my messages of late.  Love and forgiveness.  Today’s message is written heavily, as a warning for those who fail to root the love of God in their hearts, fail to forgive as they have been forgiven, and instead allow a root of bitterness to grow in their heart.  My hope is that God would pierce all of our hearts to see His love and forgiveness towards us, our sin against Him, and that would push out all anger and bitterness in our hearts.

Let’s begin by acknowledging that every one of us has been wronged by others.  Let’s also quickly move to say that we have also wronged others.  In this world, stained by sin, this will always be so to one degree or another.  Our natural response when someone sins against us is hurt and anger.  Something changes when you become a Christian and follow Jesus though.  We stop looking at people as people, and start recognizing there is a greater spiritual reality at work.

People sin against us, because they’re sinners – that’s what they are apart from Christ.  So for a non-believer to sin against us should come as no surprise to us.  Our heart for the non-believer who sins against us should be rooted in love and forgiveness.  We see their state apart from God, and in compassion we forgive them, asking God to grant them grace and mercy to believe on Him.  Their sin against us may even be the door God uses for the gospel to be preached (by us to them) about why we can forgive them, and may even be what God uses to save that person.  What an amazing story that would be!  I could tell you, there have been times when forgiving others has been difficult for me, but this is exactly what God accomplished.

What do we do with a believer sins against us?  This looks a bit different outwardly, but our heart is the same.  We first make sure that our own heart is rooted in love and forgiveness.  If you cannot confront someone in love, with a desire for their reconciliation to God, you need first to ask for God to move in your own heart to get you to that point.  Then you go to the brother or sister, with a heart rooted in love, patience, and kindness, and confront them with their sin directly.  If the brother or sister acknowledges their sin, then you are called to forgive as you have been forgiven.  Forgiveness is more than just saying “I forgive you”, it is at a heart level truly forgiving the person and releasing them to God, not holding their sin against them, and not gossiping to others about their sin.  Matthew 18:15-19 lays out this process in detail, including what to do if a believer does not acknowledge their sin.  The goal of forgiveness is two-fold, repentance/reconciliation to God for the offending believer, and healing for the offended believer.  Christians can look at their brother or sister in Christ and say in love, your sin is first against God, and because I care about you, I want to see you repent of sin that will bring dishonor to God and impede your relationship with Him.  Second, we can say in love, your sin hurt me, but Jesus died for my sin and your sin on the cross, and so we are not bound by our sin, we are new creations in Christ.  I love you, I forgive you, and my hope is for your renewed walk with Christ.

This is what should happen, and should happen more often than it does in the lives of believers.  So with that said, I now want to turn to the danger of not pursuing a heart of love and forgiveness towards others, and close with an encouragement to pursue forgiveness for past hurts where possible.

The Bible is very clear on what it means for someone to harbor anger and bitterness.  So my burden here is not to explain a lot of scripture, but to choose which passages to pull in because there are so many.

1 John 2:9 – “Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.”

Ephesians 4:26 – “ Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, ²⁷ and give no opportunity to the devil.”

Hebrews 12:14-15 – “ Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.¹⁵ See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;”

1 John 4:20 – “If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.”

Matthew 5:21 – “²¹ “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ ²² But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment;”

God is always looking at our hearts.  Here many will try to play games and tell themselves – I’m not angry with someone, I just never want to talk to them or see them again.  Or others will say, “I forgive”, but yet still exhibit behaviors that betray that statement, by avoiding a person, speaking poorly of them, and not pursuing peace.  We all have done this, so my encouragement here is just to be honest with yourself.  It does you no good to play games with God – He knows your heart.  God loves you, and anger and bitterness will defile your heart, as any other sin.  Wanting to be gentle here, I would say that a heart that is rooted in God’s love and forgiveness for them cannot be at peace with anger and bitterness towards another person.  If you are at peace, God wants you to be pierced by the stark warnings above.

Some of you at this point may be thinking about a specific individual that has wronged you in unimaginable ways.  Your anger and bitterness towards this person may have been brewing for years without your seeking peace and reconciliation.  You may not know what it looks like to pursue forgiveness.  My encouragement for you is two-fold 1) Just talk to a pastor in your church and a group of strong believers you know about what that might look like 2) Pursuing peace and reconciliation does not necessarily mean the restoration of the relationship.  We are called to wisdom.  If a man abuses his children, we may be called to forgive and pursue peace, but we would never recommend immediately that the man be restored fully to a unsupervised relationship with his children.  Each situation is different, and hopefully a pastor and other Christians can offer wisdom in love for the specifics of each situation.

Christian, I know this message was long, and for many – challenging.  My hope is that you believe with me that God will never call us to something that is not good for us.  God is our healer and our comforter.  Confrontation, even rooted in love is seldom easy, but God is for us and with us.  We are called to reject anger and bitterness because of the gospel, and our participation in proclaiming the gospel with Jesus.  We remember that we forgive because we have been forgiven.  We know that at one time we lived apart from Christ, dead in our sins, and so we hope for salvation for the non-believer.  We know that believers are not defined by their sin, but by the righteousness of Christ, so we approach them in love and hope for restoration.  Keep running the race set before you.  Know that you are loved and prayed for.

Grace and Peace,

Adam