There’s a couple guys I knew, a few years back, we’ll call them James and Vince, who I was in a church small group with.  Now James was an admitted alcoholic.  Likewise Vince struggled with lust and pornography.  Now, trying to encourage these two was difficult.  Inevitably, James would come in every 3rd or 4th week, and say he’d gone on a 2-3 day binge again, usually starting with his being at a restaurant bar area, just eating dinner or waiting on someone, etc.  Likewise Vince would come in almost weekly discussing how he had “fallen” into sin, and how he wanted to do better.  The suggestion was made to James… “James, we all care about you, but if you seem to have struggles with being in a restaurant bar, maybe you shouldn’t go to places that have a bar or serve alcohol”.  Likewise, a suggestion was made to Vince, “Vince, we all care about you, and know that you want to gain some ground in your struggle against lust and pornography, maybe it’d be a good idea if you didn’t go out to bars on the weekends, and put an internet filter on your computer”.  Someone spoke up in both circumstances, however, suggesting that those tactics were “legalistic”, that they were covered by grace, and simply needed to trust Christ for forgiveness.  So nothing changed.  Ultimately, to the best of my knowledge, James and Vince still struggle with the same things even today.

What is, and what is not legalism?  Legalism is the belief that you will be accepted by God, counted righteous, because of your works.  Thus in Vince’s case, if he believed that the actual act of putting an internet filter on his computer was somehow intermingled with the work of Christ, such that if he didn’t do it, Christ’s death would not be sufficient to reconcile him to God, that is legalism.  This is what the Jews of Israel were doing when they believed God would accept them if they followed all of his laws outwardly.

Legalism is not making decisions that are going to help you stop sinning outwardly, while still asking God to change your heart – that is called wisdom.  If a surgeon has a trauma patient coming into the ER, what is the first thing he does?  He stops the bleeding, and he tries to get the patients vital signs stable.  Then he continues to do everything to 100% heal the patient.

When those suggestions were made to James and Vince, they were not trying to replace Christ’s work on the cross, they were simply made to try to make the bleeding stop.  Do you fall into sin more often when you drink alcohol?  Stop drinking alcohol.  Do you fall into sin when you go to bars?  Stop going to bars.  Do you fall into sin when you come into a large amount of money?  Give it away.  Stopping those things aren’t going to stop making you a sinner.  They may stop the bleeding some outwardly, but ultimately we are to love the Lord with all our hearts, mind, soul, and strength, and that is an inward battle that can only be won by Christ.

My encouragement is to look at your own life and take some steps to stop the bleeding.  Get others involved with you, to encourage you.  We’re all struggling sinners in need of grace.  Christ alone can heal, but we have been commanded to be wise.  Therefore, let’s put behind us those things that would lead us away from our eternal treasure, so that our joy in Him would be made full.  Less of us is more of Him.  May our lives sing all the more to the praise of His glorious grace.

Grace and Peace,
Adam

This is one of those messages that’s going to ruffle some feathers.  My hope is that you’ll stick with me until the end.  If you still have concerns, you can always reach out to me!

No one is saved by a prayer.  No one “accepts Christ into their heart”.  You bring nothing to the table, salvation is a gift of God. (Eph 2:8-9)  God doesn’t need your prayer to save you, and He surely doesn’t need your “acceptance”… you never would give it left under your own power, regardless. (Rom 3:10-12)  Jesus didn’t die for sinners, to make them savable – Jesus Saves.  He isn’t sitting at the right hand of God, with His fingers crossed REALLY hoping that people will accept Him as their Lord and Savior – Jesus Saves.  To say it another way in Jesus’ words – John 15:16 – “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide”   From the first to the last, God empowers, enables, and brings to fruition every inward and outward manifestation of your salvation.  (1 Cor 3:7)

God the Father, outside of time, chose a people for salvation, and gave them to Jesus Christ as a possession.  Jesus Christ bore the wrath of God, died, paid the penalty for sin, rose triumphant over death, that He would reconcile sinners to God.  Jesus sends the Holy Spirit, to do the work of bringing to life dead sinners.  God, the Holy Spirit, creates a new heart in a person, and unveils their eyes to see and delight in the glory of God in Jesus Christ.

These are massive works of God, and what does man want to do?  They want to make God’s work in salvation contingent upon themselves via a prayer of acceptance.  What arrogance!  What pride that we would approach God in this way!  What do spoken words have to do with salvation?  Who gave you the heart to believe?  Did you change your own heart?  When were you able to do that?  I’m not against a prayer, I’m against a prayer that is tied to salvation.  You prayer isn’t required for salvation, and your prayer isn’t evidence of your “true belief” 10 years down the road when you’re cheating on your wife unrepentantly.  Only Jesus Saves.  Everything else that is spoken of, is “fruit” of authentic salvation, by which we can know that we are saved, but we cannot mistake the fruit with the foundation.   Our foundation is the saving work of Christ alone.

When children were making their way towards Jesus, and the disciples were going to remove them, what did Jesus say?  Matthew 19:14 – “Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”  Children are not self-sufficient; they are helpless and hopeless apart from their parent.  Only those who view Christ in the same way, will enter the Kingdom of Heaven.  He did not die to make us savable, He actually saved us.  We need to look to Him.  Don’t steal glory from God, but look to Him at every turn, for what He is doing, praising Him for His mercy and the glory of His grace.

Why do I say this?  Well maybe I’ll start by what I’m not trying to do.  I’m not saying this to beat up on people who made a profession of faith at some point.  I myself am in that camp.  It’s not to beat up on others who lead others in professions of faith or prayers of confession.  Rightly understood, those things can be good.  Now, that said, I am saying this because I want to lift Christ up in your affections to see Him as all sufficient and glorious in salvation.  I am saying this so that we do not place our trust in a prayer or a confession for salvation, but in Christ alone.  I am saying this so that we don’t believe we’re saved because of our teachers (myself included).  To God alone be all the glory, forever.  Jesus saves, and He is enough.

Grace and Peace,
Adam

If you go to the florist and buy a rose, and someone asks you what you have there, you would likely reply “a rose”, or maybe “a red rose”.  Now if you asked your florist or a botanist, you could learn even more about what you have.  They might tell you something like “A rose is a perennial plan of the genus Rosa, within the family Rosaceae.  There are over 100 species.  The leaves are alternate and pinnately compound, with sharply toothed oval-shaped leaflets.  They ripen in late summer through autumn and can reach 7 meters (21ft) in height.  Lastly if you take it to a genetic engineer, they could explain to you the detail of the plant at a cellular level, and beyond.

When you first looked at the rose it was beautiful, but there was definitely much more to know than what was first known.  With God, there is no end to this.  We could spend 10,000 years learning about God, as if we were climbing a mountain of knowledge, only to find when we reach the peak that on the other side of the mountain lay other mountain ranges as far as the eye can see.  Everything about God is not merely intellectual, but it will give rise to delight and worship at the beauty and glory we behold.  This is what awaits those of us who suffer for faith.  With such a treasure that awaits us, we should be all the more eager.  There is only one true statement I could make in an attempt to define God’s glory – whatever definition I come up with is blasphemously inadequate.  However great I believe God is, in my mind, God in greater, really greater than that – infinitely.

When was the last time you stood in awe of the glory of God?  Just look around.  Psalms 8:3-4 – “When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?”  My encouragement is this.  Sometime in the next week, go grab a coffee or something, and take 15 minutes to walk around a park.  Enjoy all that God has revealed of Himself in that small piece of creation, and understand what a very tiny, little picture that is.  The reality of God’s glory is unfathomable.  The fullness of His glory is in Christ, and by mercy, God has revealed Christ to us.  Let that be for you a wellspring of praise to God, flowing up to eternity.

Ephesians 1:5-6 – “In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved.”

Grace and Peace,
Adam

The Supremacy of Christ in Creation and Being

John 1:1-4 – “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was in the beginning with God.  All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men.”

Romans 1:20 – “For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.”

Colossians 1:15-18 – “He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.  For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.  And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent.”

Everything that surrounds you, every one of your friends and family, your own body, your very life, was created and given to you by Christ.  Most of us pay lip service to that idea, but never really rest on that, and meditate on what that means.  We take our lives for granted.  We believe that the world owes us things like fairness, happiness, and justice.  The truth is, we are not our own.  God, as creator, has the right to use what He has created for whatever ends He chooses.  We can fight against that, but that is reality.  None of us chose to be born, none of us chose to be formed, none of us gave ourselves life, and none of us chose when/where/and to whom we would be born.  Those things were given by God, alone.  Thus, as our creator, and the giver of all things, Christ is infinitely more valuable that any of us are.  He alone is supreme.  No one can rise to make a claim for anything in His presence, because He has given all things.

If that hasn’t rocked the secular humanist back on his heels, things are about to get worse.  From birth, we spit in the face of God.  Every thought, every intention of man’s heart is self-centered.  We were made to worship God as our creator, and every one of us chose to instead worship ourselves – to delight in making much of ourselves instead of God.  So not only does God have a right to deny us fairness, happiness, and justice – now the most just and fair thing for God to do is display His infinite worth through pouring out his wrath on those who deny Him worship.

That is the position of every one of us in front of Jesus Christ.  You have no hope.  There is nothing you can do, to appease God.

The Supremacy of Christ in Salvation:

Romans 7:24-8:1 – “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?  Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.  There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

Ephesians 1:7-10 – “In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will,according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.” 

Ephesians 2:4-10 – “But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.  For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” 

Why do I put these two together?  Because people do not understand their position before God, and until they do, they will never understand God’s purpose in salvation, and they will not truly delight in Christ.  If you are saved, Jesus Christ alone saved you.  There may have been a means by which God accomplished it, by bringing the gospel around you, through a powerful sermon, etc, and there was definitely a response on your part, but unless God acted on you first, you never would have seen the glory of Christ and delighted in Him.  ie, you did not choose God, apart from God choosing you first, and acting to unveil your eyes, give you a new heart, and give you new affections for God that previously did not exist.

Some of your natural reactions will be, well why doesn’t God save everyone?  That is a man-centered argument, arguing for the worth of man above the glory of God.  God is both just and merciful, and each person will glorify Him for eternity either as an object of His infinite mercy, or as an object of his infinite justice and wrath.  God is not accountable to me, I am accountable to Him.  Praise be to God, that He was chosen to show His mercy through His Son, that whosoever believes on Him would be saved.

My question for today, after reading all of the scripture above (nevermind what I say – look at what God says), is how much of your theology, and your views on God are centered on your own experience instead of God’s purpose for His Glory?  Do you have a right understanding of God’s supremacy, or are you trying to exalt man into the place of God, to judge Him?  Lastly, if by grace you have been given eyes to see the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ, does your worship center only on Him?  He alone is good, He alone can save, He alone can accomplish His will on Earth.  Will you set your affections on Him, and seek to exalt Christ at every turn?  Will you Delight yourself in the Lord?  If you do, you will not be infinitely satisfied in eternity, if you do not, eternity might be very different from what you’re expecting.

Grace and Peace,
Adam

Hebrews 2:14-18 – “Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.”

As Christians, who struggle with sin, we sometimes forget to meditate on how great a salvation we have in Jesus.  There is no fear of death for a Christian, because with death, comes a greater reward.  Death is gain, for those who believe.  Those around us would seek a measure of happiness in this life, during their younger years, while they are able to enjoy things.  Ultimately, however, there is a great fear in them, because they know that 100% of people are going to die.  That fear leads them to live their lives in slavery to whatever happinness they can find in the world.

I believe that as Christians, we are tempted in more ways, than just blatant sin.  We are tempted to live our lives with the same fear of death that non-believers do.  My encouragement today is short.  Ask yourself how others allow their lives to be consumed by worldliness.  Now, ask yourself how your life is different.  How has the cross, and the salvation you have through Jesus, completely altered your life?  Salvation in Christ is not merely freedom from the consequences of sin, it’s freedom from your flesh’s bondange to sin, and it’s freedom from a live wasted on pursuing happiness through a world that is passing away.

Grace and Peace,
Adam

How does one become great at something?  If you look at athletes, they have practiced their whole lives, they have trained their bodies through exercise, diet, and repetition, to be the best at what they do.  Likewise, if you look at any other profession, much schooling has taken place prior to current job, certifications may have been obtained, and there is ongoing education.  Why?  Why did Jesus have to suffer on the cross, but did it for the joy set before Him? (Heb 12:2)  Could it be that God is revealing to us his purpose in salvation?  That we are to bring glory to God – not through prosperity with joy, primarily, but rather suffering with joy?

When you wake up in the morning, and you’re making a decision of whether to throw your legs over the side of bed, get up, and read your Bible, or whether to keep your legs toasty warm and roll over for another 30 minutes of sleep; which is easier?  If you said option number 1, I want to meet you, because I want to know what you’re eating, so I can switch.  No, there are always going to be options that are easier for our flesh to enter into, rather than pursuing an option that leads to discomfort, but will provide joy.  It’s always going to be easier to go to a movie than to pick up a book on theology, it’s always going to be easier to go out with your friends than it is to spend time serving others, it’s always going to be easier to buy yourself something new rather than giving money away for God’s Kingdom.  So why do we pursue the harder path?

2 Corinthians 4:17-18 – For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

We pursue the harder path in Fath.  Hebrews 11:1 – Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
Through faith, we believe that we have a greater possession in Jesus Christ, and what the world sees as futility, we see as preparing ourselves for the weight of glory that is to be revealed to us.  Through faith, we believe that when we pray, when we are in the Word, that God is with us, helping us, conforming us into His image.  Through faith, we are able to joyfully proclaim that whatever is loss to us in the world is gain, through Jesus Christ.  My encouragement to you is Colossians 3:2-4 – “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”

Grace and Peace,
Adam

Many people take issue with God’s sovereignty and prayer.  They say something like – if God is truly sovereign and His will, will always be done, then why pray?  In the Bible, however, we see many, many examples of God’s response to prayer.  We are even given a model of prayer by God Himself in Jesus Christ.  (Matt 6:9-13)  So then, there is a way in which our prayers are not seeking to change God’s will, but are compatible with it.  Our prayers are used by God to accomplish His will.

In James 5:16 we are told – “The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”  Why is that?  What about non-righteous people?  Proverbs 15:29 – “The LORD is far from the wicked,but he hears the prayer of the righteous.”   Now we know that no one is righteous apart from being washed in the blood of Christ.  So God is speaking here of believers.

Here lies the power in the prayer of a Christian.  Just as you were chosen in Christ, apart from any good works, but through the grace and mercy of God by the will of the Father, so it is with prayer.  The very prayers you pray were ordained before the foundation of the world.  That is powerful if you feel the weight of it, isn’t it?

James 4:3 – “You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.”
John 15:7 – “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” 

It would not be loving of God to answer a prayer that ultimately would result in you having an idol before him.  This is why God didn’t answer my prayer for a Ferrari Testerrosa when I was 10, or for the girl who sat behind me in English class in 10th grade, Beth, to date me, or for a number of other things.  But the flip side of that is amazing.  If God is my treasure, and my prayers are for things that align with His will, such as greater holiness in my own life, a greater knowledge and affection for God from His Word, to love people more like Christ loves them, etc. I can know 100% that His answer will be yes, and it will be accomplished (the timing and pace is His of course).  Prayer is often discounted, even among Christians, but it is the mark of a Christian who truly understands himself or herself rightly before God.  We have nothing to offer, we all come to Him as children, asking for help.  These prayers are not merely going into the air, but are heard by a righteous, all-powerful, holy God, who loves us, and will work everything to be accomplished for our good.

How is your prayer life?  How often do you pray?  Are you praying for things that align with God’s will, or maybe would cause you to stray from it?  Know that you’re prayed for, and my confidence is not in my prayer, but in the One who hears it.  1 Thessoloians 5:16-18 – “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

Grace and Peace,
Adam

Living in Dallas, I’m confronted daily by the fruit of lives that are given over willingly to the pursuit of money.  Dallas, the home of the $30k millionaire, the person who maxes out their credit cards to live a lifestyle they can’t afford.  What can I say about money that would be helpful?  What I want to say first of all, is that money by itself is neither good nor bad.  It is not evil to be rich, it is not inherantly good to be poor.  As Christians, we should know that God isn’t nearly as concerned with what is external, but He is immensely concerned about what is internal to us – what is in our hearts.

1 Timothy 6:6-10 – “Now there is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.  But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.”

God is encouraging us in two ways here.  One is to constantly striving to be content with what you have.  When is the last time you REALLY prayed asking God to grant you contentment in your current situation?  The second is God is discouraging… what, being rich?  No, God is discouraging the desire to be rich, and the love of money, not money itself.  So there it is.  It’d be very easy for me to just tell everyone they should give away all they own, to pursue a greater possession in Jesus Christ.  I’d like to be able to say that sometimes, but that’s not what God has planned.  God wants us to use what He has given us, to pursue a greater possession in Jesus Christ.  He wants us to stop placing a higher value on material things, than on Christ.  He wants us to be able to consider the loss of all of our possessions as gain, for the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus Christ as Lord.  (Phil 3:8)

Now, I don’t know about you, but I can be an amazing debator, or at least I’ve been told.  I did debate some in high school, and have been told by many, many people that I should have been a lawyer (I never know if I should take that a compliment or if I should be offended?).  Regardless, I own that label to some degree.   It’s funny then, that the person I find myself debating the most is…myself.  I can be an amazing debator within myself.  You might not be surprised to know that I have a 100% success rate of winning the argument.  Unfortunately, many times what I’m debating internally is really the justification for carrying around sin in my heart.  I’m afraid that this is the pitfall into which many Christians find themselves when it comes to money.

Mark 10 gives us a good example.   Mark 10:17-22 – “And as he was setting out on his journey, a man ran up and knelt before him and asked him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”  And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.  You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.'”  And he said to him, “Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth.”  And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.”

Now Jesus recognized this man as a man familiar with the commandments of God.  It is likely then, that he had tithed according to Jewish law, by giving 10% of his money, yet he still had much wealth left over.  This man was deceived, as many Christians can be, when it comes to money.  Jesus exposed the truth of this man’s heart.  He loved money, and what he believed it could provide for Him more than Jesus.  Did Jesus need this man’s money?  No.  God created the universe and everything in it, including money, He didn’t need this man’s money for the poor.  Look back 2 chapters before in Mark 8, Jesus fed thousands of people from 7 loaves of fish and a few fish – God doesn’t need money to accomplish anything.  So why do we have money?  Why does God care about how you feel about it?  God uses money to sanctify Christians through giving.  Money is a gift of God, so that in giving it away, Christians see the infinite worth of Christ.

My encouragement to you all as Christians isn’t to look at how much money you have, or how much money you have given away.  Pray, and ask God to use 100% of your money to draw you closer to Him.  Money and God both make promises of happiness, but gold can lead to chains, if your heart desires what it offers.  Pragmatically I’d say this,  there are very few things that are more helpful in a Christian’s life, to do, than to develop a healthy practice of giving money away.  Instead of asking yourself how much you should give, ask God to give you a peace about how much you keep.  I cannot make anyone see God as infinitely valuable, only God can open eyes to see Him that way, but God has means by which He reveals Himself.  Trust God in this, you will never look down from Heaven away from God and wish that you had kept more money for yourself.

Grace and Peace,
Adam

Proverbs 18:22 – “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.” 

1 Corinthians 7:7-9 – “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.  To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.  But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”

For a while I’ve gotten a few questions related to the season of singleness that everyone goes through at some point in their life.  Most of the questions surround how they can find the right spouse.  Sometimes I’ll respond to them by saying, “What do you mean?  I thought you were already married?”  This question is always good for a confused look or two, before I explain what I mean.  In order to have a healthy understanding of the pursuit of a spouse, and ultimately marriage, as a Christian you must know that you are already married to Christ.  He is your bridegroom, and you are His bride.  (Mark 2, Eph 5) Now I know that gets a little weird if you’re a guy, but we’re talking about a spiritual relationship, not a physical one.  You see, if someone does not truly understand that they are already married to Christ, they will seek contentment and fulfillment in their relationship to a spouse rather than God.  In that case, marriage is probably the last thing that Christian should do.  I believe that in part is what Paul is trying to guard against in 1 Corinthians 7 above.  Marriage inevitably will draw time and attention away from Christ to put on your spouse, which can tempt someone to make a spouse into an idol before God.

So my first question is, how are you doing in your marriage to Christ?  Do you love Him well through obedience to His Word?

Ok, so let’s say you’re loving God well, and you have a desire to be married, what then?  Notice here I’m not saying a desire to date.  God didn’t not make men and women for dating, but for marriage.  Therefore, if marriage isn’t your goal, then don’t date.  Some here will disagree with me, and I will wholeheartedly agree to change my position on this if you can find one example of dating in the Bible where marriage was not the end goal.  To save you some time, you won’t find any.  Ok, so now you’re asking – whom should I pursue?  Where should I look?

Start with this.  Make a list of everything that you’d want in a spouse.  Ask a Christian brother or sister to look it over, and see if they believe that your list aligns with scripture.  Now, take that list that you just made, and ask yourself (and your Christian brother or sister) how well you match up to that list.  If you’re honest with yourself, you probably wouldn’t make the cut on your own list.  So here’s what I would say – throw that list out.  You’re already married to Christ, and the person you marry is going to have flaws.  If you come into a marriage expecting that person to be Christ, you will be sorely disappointed and miserable throughout your marriage, and your spouse will feel constantly judged.

Here is my list.

1)  Does the person convey a genuine love for God.  Now to guard against a sentimental emotional definition of love here, the love for God I’m talking about here is evidenced by brokenness over sin in their life and a desire to submit their lives fully to God’s Word?  If a person isn’t broken over their own sin, and does not understand grace, they will not understand your failings, and be unwilling to offer grace to you.  If the person does not want to submit their lives to God’s Word, then they’re probably not a Christian, and then why would you want to date someone where they would not understand or discourage you from pursuing your greatest treasure – Christ?  It’s also commanded of you not to bind yourself to an unbeliever. (2 Cor 6:14)

1a)  Does this person share the same fundamental beliefs about God’s as you?  Now many here can take this too far.  What I would say is earnestly strive to build a robust common theological understanding of God from the scriptures.  I have this as 1a, because what you believe about God, affects how you feel about God and how you will love Him and others.  Strive for as much common ground as possible, but be willing to leave room for disagreement on non-essentials.  Ultimately, I’ll say that if you and your spouse do not share a similar understanding of the sovereignty of God and the gospel, things will be very difficult for you in marriage.  If one spouse believes that God is surprised when evil happens, and another believes God is working all things towards good (even evil) for those who love God and have been called according to His purpose (Rom 8:28), you will want to comfort one another in very different ways when bad things happen, and it will create very difficult friction.  Likewise, clearly if one spouse believes a different gospel, such as one that denies that Christ bore the wrath of God for sins, or one that says Christ did not physically raise from the grave, I would caution against marrying that person.

2)  Does the person have a servant’s heart?  I wish it would be understood that this is the same as #1, however, there are many self-righteous morally, that have no affection for others’ physical and spiritual needs.

3)  Do you have a modest level of physical attraction to the person.  Here again, I could expound, but I will stop only to say that if you have a solid undestanding of God, and your delight is in Him, your delight in a child of God will extend much further than what is outwardly visible, which is going to ultimately pass away.

So there you go.  This is about as pragmatic as I can be, when what I really want to say is this – be content in your pursuit of a glorious marriage to Christ.  Delight yourself in God first, and then God may choose to bring someone along who will help you see God even clearer.  This doesn’t mean God will not use means to do this.  I think some people border on putting God to the test by saying that they will never go out on dates, etc, and expect that God will simply provide a spouse – like a genie in a lamp.  I literally knew one girl who expected some guy to just show up at her door one day, telling her that God had sent him.  Pursue Christ with other believers, and be open pursuing those you see around you who are pursuing Christ well.

The purpose of marriage was never meant to fill gaps for God.  The purpose in marriage was to better our already existing marriage to Christ, and prepare us for our marriage to Christ for eternity.  Do not look to your spouse to be Christ.  That is a burden none of us could bear.  Ask yourself how are you married to Christ now?  If you are married to a spouse, how are you encouraging his/her marriage to Christ?  Understanding that will give us a better framework to pursue marriage, grow closer to Christ in marriage, and be quick to offer grace to one another as fallen sinners.  More could be said, but hopefully this is helpful some.

Grace and Peace,
Adam

Every once in a while I’ll hear from someone that this email get’s forwarded out to, to get an encouraging note, thanking me for sending it out.  One of my struggles is accepting praise – it’s very difficult for me to balance out my appreciativeness at what God may be doing through me, and my sincere struggle to kill any sense of pride that it has anything to do with me.  Now encouragement is a good thing, and I believe we should encourage and honor one another more (Heb 10:24-25).  There are few things better at building up unity of the faith and simultaneously killing the sin of pride and self-righteousness, than honoring one another.  What I would like to say then to all of you who read this, is that if you are a Christian, you are invaluable to the Church.  Your giftings may be different than mine, (thankfully so) your giftings may be different from your pastor, and God has designed you that way purposefully.  There are specific works that God has prepared for you (Eph 2:10), that I cannot do.  Likewise, there are specific works that God has prepared for me, that you cannot do.  Now this is where it gets interesting… Both God’s plan for you, and God’s plan for me are interwoven, meaning that there are specific works God means for me to carry out, that I would not be able to without you, etc.

1 Corinthians 12:21-27 – “The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it,  that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another.  If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.  Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it.

The gospel message is alive, moving forth, growing, and saving lives to the glory of God.  How are you a part of that?  My encouragement to you is know that God loves you as you are, that is the foundation of the gospel, yet that is not the whole gospel.  God’s love would not be love if He died just so that you could stay as you are.  Christ died that you would be fully reconciled to Him, which means we should all be in constant motion, striving to be more and more like Christ.  Keep pressing forward in your life, do not shrink back.

Hebrews 10:37-39 – “For, “Yet a little while, and the coming one will come and will not delay; but my righteous one shall live by faith, and if he shrinks back, my soul has no pleasure in him.” But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.” 

That’s a question I ask myself often.  Am I moving forward or back?  Those are the only two options for a Christian.  I could go on for hours, speaking on how strategies for moving forward, pragmatic steps you could take, but I’ll save that for another day.  Ok, I have to at least say this… I put in snippets from the Bible each day, but it’s nothing compared to what God will do if you simply read your Bibles daily.  If you never read another email from me, but committed to read your Bible every day, that would be a good trade, a REALLY good trade.  God is the only person capable of transforming hearts and minds, and His Word is the means by which He accomplishes that most.

So that is my recruitment speech – I need you, the Church needs you, and God wants to use you, if you will prepare yourself and purpose yourself to press forward.  Whatever God has given you to do, do so with all your power.  Encourage, love, and honor your brothers and sisters in Christ, we all need each other.  We are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who have faith and preserve their souls.  Know that you’re cared and prayed for, and as you press forward know that God is capable of doing much more than we could possibly imagine or hope for.

Grace and Peace,
Adam